taking on week 31...

so far, i truly do not believe we could have asked for a better pregnancy. as i look back down our pregnancy "timeline", every step along the way has been found right where it should be.

• the injectables i had to take through nashville fertility worked the first time in january.
• my 6-week scan in february miraculously revealed 2 little, blinky heartbeats which represented our precious twins' lives.
• the 8-week scan confirmed a solid rise in bpm's (beats per minute) and 2 distinct sacs with 2 little lives already in motion.
• month by month each appointment went smoothly.
• in may, our 1 and 1/2 hour ultrasound that measured every tiny portion of each baby turned out wonderfully. we found out we had a healthy son & daughter on the way.
• in june, after a slight stumble with failing my initial gestational diabetes test i passed the 3-hour test just fine. i realized that maybe the giant rice krispie treat i ate before my 1st one was probably not the smartest decision.
• weekly ultrasounds/appointments began in early july. babies have scored 8/8 each time on their bpp's (biophysical profiles which assess fluid, heart rate, breathing capabilities, etc). babies have weighed and measured ahead every single time.

all of this great news brought us in like we were riding a wave of happiness into this past week's appointment. week 30 went very well, too. however, it's amazing how once one little thing does not go your way that you can then attempt to take your journey into your own hands. btw...never ever a good idea.

the babies scored 8/8 on their bpp. heartbeats were heard loud and clear. my blood pressure was great & low. the babies continued to measure over a week ahead at 31+ weeks along; however, they did not gain any actual weight between week 29 and week 30.

we had been told to NEVER read too much into their weekly measurements because at this point, twins are packed in too tightly with parts overlapping everywhere to get perfect, accurate measurements. we had received that guidance weeks, maybe months, ago; however, the moment we were supposed to apply that sound medical knowledge we couldn't do it! instead of having faith in the medical people around us and instead of trusting god with these precious little twins HE created...i immediately though a myriad of thoughts...

"oh no...my little friends have stopped growing. what does this mean? is this bad? this IS bad. i should go eat 20 hamburgers...stat! am i going to have to have these little ones now to get them out so that they can grow? i should have eaten more than a bowl of cereal the other night. something is wrong. i gained a pound, why didn't they? what's wrong with me? "

as soon as my doctor walked in and said "any questions for me...how was your week" i literally hounded him with my run-on sentence of concerns. being the calm doctor he is, he immediately stopped me and reminded me that week to week estimates mean absolutely nothing to him. he reminded me that i have to look at everything in 4-week increments to really see anything that matters. he reminded me i'm doing great. the babies are doing great. everything is going literally "perfectly". he said these babies have grown incredibly well, that they continually score 100% on each week's bpp's, and he reminded me that i have had not one issue thus far. he summed his words of wisdom up in about 5 minutes and out the door he went. no....big.....deal.

isn't it amazing how our own minds can instantaneously give us a one-way ticket aboard a crazy train! instead of focusing on the positives, i immediately focused on the 1 thing that hasn't gone my way. i've made it to week 30 without a single negative, practically. with 2 babies on board, that's insane!

god never says that what we want will be given to us on the spot. all he tells us is

• "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not yet see."
• "for everything becomes perfect in god's time"
• "whatever we ask/request of the lord, we do so patiently & with childlike faith"

god is good. the minute we take things into our own looney heads is bad. why in the world choose bad over good? it makes no sense, does it? the truth is, these babies could come tomorrow just as easily as their september 2nd due date. god knows when their debut day is. i do not. i might as well sit back & wait for that time to come. i don't believe he's going to yell down and tell me when the finale of my wonderful pregnancy show is. and why should he? we already know the ending is going to leave us happily ever after.