minnie & tully have had a great week. so many people have been at home with me throughout this past week helping with the daily twin duties....ben and i truly can't believe how lucky we are to have such loyal AND loving support. we could not have gotten this far without it!
because of that love exuded by each and every person that has been here, minnie & tully are both dancing around the 8-pound mark. can you believe it? these twins evidently missed the memo that they were preemies...and we're not telling them!
i remember when the thought of having babies seemed like an unlikely goal. i remember thinking that because of endometriosis and ovulatory issues, i would never have a baby...much less 2. i remember thinking that god had somehow managed to forget me when he was making his "mommy list". i remember feeling...empty.
that feeling for me has obviously eroded away. for that, i am forever thankful. however, isn't it weird that once that feeling of emptiness leaves you that you end up seeing it move into another person's life shortly thereafter? even if you don't experience the exact same pain or worry as that person does, seeing them suffer reminds you of how scary it was for you. it breaks your heart.
the past couple of weeks have made this scenerio hit home to our family. my sister's littlest, hylton, is 2 1/2 years old. after a week long bout with what was deemed a "virus", he was put into vanderbilt's children's hospital last week and has been there ever since. as of yesterday, he has been put to sleep 3 separate times for 3 separate reasons. still, no answer has been found for his inability to keep any food/liquid down.
we know very little about why hylton is currently experiencing this. there is a blockage between his stomach and intestine. that we know. however, we don't know what the blockage is or how and by what means it will be fixed. the end is currently not in sight. seeing hyltie struggling leaves anyone and everyone simply "broken".
i have to look at minnie & tully when my heart wants to break. they remind me to dig deep and find that i can do anything through christ who gives us strength. i could have never gotten through the infertility process without HIS strength. i could have never made it through the whole shot/injectable process without HIS reassurance that something would work. i could have never brought these babies home with me without HIS steadfast and constant love that would be given to them through me. all in all, we can't do much of anything without him.
these twins are amazing. they truly are. they were formed perfectly. they grew perfectly in my belly. they have been perfect ever since ben & i brought them home. however, there have been MANY moments in between that were FAR from perfect. the overall picture helps us forget the ugliness in between to a certain extent. these children that ben & i miraculously created are constant reminders of god's love for us. i have to know he loves hylton in the exact same way.
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