i have thought about so much this week leading up to this particular nickeled moment in mine and ben's marriage...
~what single life felt like compared to companionism for eternity
~what we used to do before our days filled up with diapers and the wiggles
~what it felt like to eat a meal slowed down by sipping on a good pinot rather than throwing down a meal in 5 seconds with tums and lemon water
~how getting ready for a hot date took a good hour or two of primping instead spritzing on febreeze and calling it your new "scent"
honestly, the list of thoughts could go on and on. i will not bore you, however, on this beautiful spring day with the ins and outs of my looney mind. no matter if you're single. no matter if you're a sexy newlywed who has just put on 10 pounds of new happiness. no matter if you are thrice divorced with a litter of little ones ranging from 20 years to 20 months. wherever you currently are on your life's journey, you are constantly evaluating AND re-evaluating. i would like to tell you i have found a new solution to copy and paste to your own life, but i ain't got nothing!
sure, we would all like to claim that appreciating god's gifts in our lives and basking in his glory is exactly how we live. but if we were to wipe off our mascara, take off our uncomfortable spanx that we claim ARE comfy (don't lie), slide into those jeans that you never dry and do the splits in to stretch em' out a bit, and be raw and real we would all say that our thoughts and perception on our own life is a roller coaster.
the past 5 years for me has been that way. sometimes their are loops of happiness. sometimes there are steep falls that i can't wait to rise back up from. sometimes, the whole darn roller coaster gets stuck and i can't do a dang thing until someone helps get the sucker get to moving again. thankfully, it does start moving. thankfully, others are riding alongside with you. thankfully, god is the seatbelt throughout the ride. thankfully, there is xanax and good wine....totally kidding.
no matter if you are single, married, divorced, or a combination of those labels, all we can do is look at where we are aand keep doing what is working and toss out what isn't. you can't do that instantaneously. it takes time. life takes time. love takes time. i am thankful i have twins because OF love. if i had given up, i would not have a marriage. i would not have babies. i would not have who i am today.
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| october 2008 |
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| fall 2009 |
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| june 2010 |
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| september 2010 |
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| september 2011 |
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| april 2012 |
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