the ability to forget....what a blessing....

i have loved having minnie and tully in my life since september.  obviously.  they are my children and loving them to pieces is what mommies do.

like anything we love, we have this innate connection to our babies that withstands everything...good AND bad.  ask any mommy that has graduated from the "land of infants" about how they feel about being a mom.  they will talk about how good it felt to rock their baby...about how they love their baby's little fingers and toes...about how they felt the day their little one took their first step....about how amazing their little one was day in and day out.

now....let's get down to it, ladies.  we all know these responses have an incredibly big loop hole.  difficult.......arduous......gut-wrenching.......mind-boggling......those words are more up the alley of characterizing the role of mommy if you ask me.

BUT.....i don't think baby mommy alums are lying when they give us those "fluff" responses one bit.  i really don't.  here's why.....

i was having a hard day.  no, make that a hard week or so.  instead of being hard-headed and going about my daily routine sans help, i enlisted good old pop pop (my dad) to help for a couple of hours.  i think he was so surprised that i called him up and asked that he JUMPED at the opportunity like a little mexican jumping bean!

within 10-15 minutes or so of his presence, the tears came pouring down.  he thought he was taking a break from his tough attorney-man routine and playing in the floor with 8 month olds for a nice departure from HIS typical work day.....instead, he got to be a psychiatrist:)

after watching me cry for the 2nd or 3rd round, he sat back and said something i have heard before but never really applied and absorbed.  he said.....

"mags, i am going to tell you something.  these babies are wonderful.  absolutely wonderful.  you and ben won't have any more that come near them.  they are on a schedule.  they are happy.  they are fun.  and you know what????  if mommies remembered the pain of childbirth, they would all be walking around with just ONE baby.  in a couple of weeks, no, in a couple of days....you will not remember how much you hurt right now.  that i promise you."

my dad is right.  even though his body isn't pooling up with hormones like a lady, his sentimental, accurate response is what i needed.  not only was it a sweet thing to say, it was the truth.

how is it that god gives us the ability to paint over "the ugly"?  how is it that we find his strength in us to move on and forget the pain?  i don't know.  i just know that the ability to do so is a true gift that only he can provide.  he is a miracle worker...and forgetting the ugly is a miracle in and of itself for sure!

i have said countless times that a c-section was harder to recover from than i had planned BUT i don't really remember the pain.  i have said to ben that i have had a hard day BUT i don't really remember the days i have said that to him.  i have even thought to myself i cannot keep these babies all day and do everything by myself BUT i continue to do so on days when i have them to myself with no help.  isn't it crazy........how we are somehow able to forget.

if someone were to ask me how the past 8 months have been, i would fall right in line with the mommies that give a fluffy, soft, and cuddly canned response......however, it HAS been amazing.  it HAS been indescribable.  it HAS been better than i could have imagined.  it HAS.....it HAS....it HAS....is HAS.

and i promise.....i'm not lying and neither are those mommies who have spoken the same words before me...