christmas spirit...bah humbug...

the shopping, the scheduling, the last-minute purchases, the balancing act of family dynamics, the scurrying about, the holiday break from school (the NON break from the twins), etc......these are all of the thoughts popping up in my head as the christmas countdown begins.

it's so easy, isn't it? getting caught up in what christmas is NOT about.

i try every year.  i truly make a valiant effort to not be swept up in the frenzy, but somehow it happens.  as the turkey is ditched into the trash, i try to make a mental note to keep calm and carry on as this holiday season unfolds.  i repeat a mantra that "it's not about the gifts. it's not about having the perfectly-trimmed tree.  it's not about having the house deemed southern-living perfect.  it's not about the expensive holiday attire for the twins that can only be worn 1 out of the 12 months of the year....."  however, the more effort that is put into these repetitious recitings, the further my apple falls from the godly christmas tree.

this year, two of my closest and dearest friends and i decided to do an advent bible study at church.  meeting only 4 times (on the December Sundays for a mere hour), we thought "hey, we can do this".  while i walk in each and every time a little un-holy and just plain tired to be quite honest, it is the one mere hour where i feel at peace, far away from the roller coaster called christmas.  now, i love the roller coaster and do take part in each and every loop and turn of the ride.  however, the stalling moment this bible study has given me during the month of december has been an intermittant blessing.

while i might be making mental gift notes and crossing holiday to-do's from my list, there is always a wise and grounded soul that tells a story or relishes a bit of advice or wisdom upon our little, humble group....and when that golden nugget of information is said, a deafening silence falls on our class.  i never know who is going to say "it".  i never know what the tale will be.  i do, however, listen and enjoy every moment.  i always feel like when an older soul is sharing a story, i will somehow be better for listening.

to repeat each profound story or every piece of knowledge would take up too much of your precious holiday downtime (ha, as if there were any).  i will tell you, though, there is a common theme throughout them all.  god....is.....present....and...ALIVE!  if we are sad, he is there to comfort.  if we are happy, he is leaping with joy alongside us.  if we are confused, he is there to help us make our pros vs cons list.  if we are worrying, he is ready to walk with us down whichever path we think will lead us to stability.

i don't think it is a coincidence that he is here with us during this month in more ways than an any other.  now, i know he is with us ALL the time.  what i mean is to say that the days leading up to his son's birth are filled with an eery presence.  he doesn't want to miss a thing leading up to the BIG day.  amidst all the crazy, that is one simple fact that doesn't take a great deal of slowing down to absorb.  after all, who has the time?